Extra Effort Brings Hope to Families

Trying to help a loved one who has mental illness can be among the most difficult things in life. For parents and other close relatives, it can be heart-wrenching agony that seems endless.

That’s where the Family Support Group at Tri-County Mental Health Services can help. Meeting in Tri-County’s offices near Maple Woods Community College, up to 30 people have gathered each month to learn more about options for everything from guardianships to medication. Each meeting has a speaker with a specific topic, but the most important dialogue may be between participants themselves.

“What I really think draws them in is that other family members talk to them,” explains Jamie Wehmeyer, director of Assessment and Youth Community Psychiatric Rehabilitation Services and one of the group’s two facilitators. “You’ll hear them talking together: ‘Hey, I’ve been to that situation. My kid wouldn’t take meds for years but now he’s in school.’ It let’s them know that others have gone through this and that things can get better.”

The tales can be hard just to hear. A parent tells about the disappearance of a son with severe schizophrenia. After months of waiting for “the phone call,” he finally returned and promised to make a new start with counseling and medication. The adult daughter of a woman who has both depression and substance abuse asks for guidance. Every story is different—a teenager “acting out” has become uncontrollable, adult children with visible potential who can’t get out of bed because of severe depression. For parents and other loved ones, the challenges can seem endless.

“Their task is daunting,” Wehmeyer said. “It’s difficult to be supporting and loving, but at the same time set boundaries. I think that’s part of the draw for these meetings—they relate to each other.”

Co-facilitator Lori Byl agreed. Director of Case Management and Employment Services, Byl said communications among support group members may be among the best features of the meetings. “It’s amazing how our families connect with each other once they hear each other’s story. And those who have been there reach out and those who are new don’t feel so lonely.”

While a sympathetic shoulder is important, the group also targets specific goals. Meeting topics include issues that most family members have faced in one way or another: legal issues, substance abuse, medication, other support organizations and more. The knowledge helps the families know about their loved one’s illness and often increases the effectiveness of their support.

“Family support is important for mental health consumers,” Byl said. “It can be very important to the individual’s recovery. But our families are hurting as well, and understanding what they are dealing with helps.”

Both Byl and Wehmeyer said the group is growing. “We definitely are getting more families involved,” Byl said. “Jami and I have both given it a lot of attention and the word is getting out.”

Tri-County’s Family Support Group is free and open to any interested person. Meetings are the first Wednesday of each month from 6 to 7:30 p.m., in the day program area of Tri-County Mental Health Services offices of the Northland Human Services Center, 3100 NE 83rd Street, Kansas City, North. For further information, contact Tri-County Mental Health Services at (816) 468-0400.

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